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| Alex in San Francisco |
I am sure that after reading my first blog about our son Alex, you are wondering, how did you know that he is Autistic? Remember that Alex is also Deaf. Well, let me tell you, I didn't want to believe it at first.
It was my husband, John, who noticed that there was something different about Alex. At age 2, John would notice that Alex would be off playing by himself in another room. Some kids like to play by themselves but that is not what really made John notice that there was something different about Alex. It was what he was playing with. Now, most 2 year olds would be playing with age appropriate toys and their peers. Our son would play with videotapes and he would carry them with him when we would go out. People would ask us, "Is that his favorite movie?" Umm.. No, he just likes to carry the tapes. Not only would he carry the videotapes, he also likes to pull out the tape from the cassette itself and the videotape would be destroyed. You can imagine how many videotapes we have thrown out. He also loved to stack the videotapes or his legos real high.
Videotapes was not the only thing that fascinated Alex. John also noticed that Alex liked phone books. He would thumb through the phone books, carry them around with him and sometimes would rip the pages out one by one.
Alex was enrolled in the Early Intervention program at this age mainly because of his deafness. Looking back on his EI experience, I didn't feel that enough was done for Alex or said to us as parents to have us understand that there was something not right.The developmental therapist was not very good. When I would take him to his sessions, he was not interested in pretend play or social play. Alex was more interested in water play, playing in the sand or playing in a rice/bean bin where he would put his whole body in there and that made him feel good. The therapist never once mentioned anything to me about the possibility of Alex having autism or that it was not normal behavior. At that time, I didn't understand what was going on with my son, that he needed sensory stimulation.
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| Water play anyone? |
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| Denver, Colorado |
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| Our 3 awesome boys! |
One of the toughest things for John and I was that Alex did not like to be touched and didn't like to hug. This would upset him and he would just start to cry and scream.Not being able to hug our child was heartbreaking for us as parents. By age 3, Alex was enrolled in the pre-school program for the Deaf/HOH(Hard of Hearing). During this time, there was almost no progress with his IEP (Individual Educational Plan) goals. After one year in the program, the staff there noticed that Alex was not signing much, had no social interaction with his peers, and there was no eye contact. We also noticed this at home.We were frustrated that there was no communication with our son, and we were frustrated for our son who couldn't tell us what he wanted. Alex would also do a lot of flapping of his hands, jumping and rock his body. This was not normal since both of us are Deaf and use American Sign Language on a daily basis to communicate with one another and Alex was not picking up the signs. His behavior was different as well. Alex's two older brothers, Joe and James, also use ASL to communicate. John and I wanted answers. So, we both decided to take him to Dr. Judy Kahn who works at the Center on Deafness. We wanted someone who was familiar with ASL and the Deaf culture as well. After Dr. Kahn observed Alex, she sent us a letter stating that Alex's behaviors are consistent with a diagnosis of autistic disorder, which John and I have suspected. She also stated that Alex's interests and interactions with others appear rather immature in quality. He becomes fascinated with cause and effect activities which he will want to do for somewhat extended periods. He also engages in some flapping and extended jumping movements. We were devastated to hear this news about our son.
Dr. Kahn told us that the most important thing to work on with Alex was COMMUNICATION first and not worry about the behaviors as long as he is not hurting himself or others. Now, when a hearing child is autistic and a parent calls out his or her name and the child does not respond, the parents assume their child is Deaf. Well, we knew our child was Deaf but we had to figure what was going on with Alex by his behaviors and lack of communication through ASL.
To this day, Alex is still obsessed with videotapes and phone books. He is now 8 years old and still does the same things he did at an earlier age. He has improved in a lot of areas over the past few years with alot of support. With acceptance, love and patience, we have helped Alex come a long way. I will write more in my next blog.
What behaviors should you be concerned with your baby or child? Does he/she have eye contact? Is there verbal communication for hearing children? Sometimes the child loses verbal communication at the age of 2 or 3. If the child is Deaf, is she/he picking up signs, understand the signs? Does your child avoid people? Does he/she prefer to play with different things rather than play with his/her peers or age appropriate toys? Does your child have sensory issues? Does he/she rock, flap hands? Does your child has appropriate socialization with his/her peers? Now, I am NOT an expert here and this story is based on our own personal experience but just giving out some ideas of possibility that your child may be autistic. It could be that your child has some other issue, disorder or your child is just fine. Of course if you suspect that there is something going on with your child, please consult with your pediatrician and discuss your concerns together.
